THE SINGLES GROUP

Against his better judgement a close friend of the Brit’s persuaded, coerced, bribed, forced him to join a singles group even though he pleaded “look Gale, I’m not looking to date, I mean, bloody hell like, I’ve only just escaped the clutches of the Valkyrie from Hell! I’m not jumping from the frying pan into the fire! Know what I mean, like”? Alas, this fell on deaf ears and just for some peace he accepted the idea and said that he’d join.

Apparently this is such a high classed group that one had to submit a short electronic application and then be either accepted of rejected! “Ah, HAAAAA!” thought the Brit, here’s my out and he could see it now “erm, sorry Gale der luv, they rejected my application”, “nice one” thought the Brit! So he gleefully completed the application form! Now ……… there is no way that this group, or any other group other than the Psychopaths Guild for the Mentally Insane would accept a potential axe murder with haemorrhoids and a gas problem that once started would in fact knock out half the population of Sydney Australia in 30 minutes! There’s no way that he would be accepted as a member …………………

So, he attended his first meeting on Wednesday January 2nd 2008 that day that the temperatures got down to 28 degrees! The meeting being at a restaurant/bar, so of course the weather itself wouldn’t matter and it would be just a matter of legging it from the car to a nice warm place that sold beer LOVE IT!

Was he wrong! This place is nothing more than a building with small, nay tiny wee bar/service hatch with a frame attached! Oh yes, it had plastic screening around it and that stopped the frozen, whipping wind a lot ………. BLOODY NOT!

So, even had there been any soccer mom’s worth a karat it would have been too bloody cold to have done anything anyway! Oh, it sometimes sucks to be the Brit!

AND …………. what a bunch of losers!!!! No wonder they’re single! there were three fella’s prattling on about dates that have been good or failed and why, it was like listening to General Kitchener reliving past battles including the embellishment UNREAL!

The Brit went to a couple of other meetings and finally realised that there would be a better standard of Soccer Moms had he just joined ‘Bloody Ugly Soccer moms.com’ and looked up the profile of Jennifer Ugly, the ugliest woman in Ugly Town!

Anyhow, he came to his senses and gave this bloody group a miss!