"REMEMBER, REMEMBER THE 5TH OF NOVEMBER" ………….. Oppppppppppppsssssssss wrong country and wrong 'plot'!
July 4th 1776 is celebrated by Americans as "Independence Day" when they beat and kicked the British out of the Colonies ………….. RUBBISH!!!!! ……….. After unearthing some well hidden documentation that has come to the light of this brilliant investigative reporter and this is what I uncovered!
The Boston Tea Party was always thought to be an act of direct action protest by the American colonists against British Government in which they destroyed many crates of tea bricks belonging to the British East India Company on ships in Boston Harbor. The incident, which took place on Thursday, December 16, 1773, has been seen as helping to spark the American Revolution and remains to this day one of the most iconic events of the era.
FAKE, MADE UP PICTURE OF THE (SO-CALLED) BOSTON TEA PARTY
Here is actually what happened ……………………………
The British sailors were totally fed up with Bud-bloody- wieser
A FED UP BRITISH SAILOR
and really wanted nothing more but to get their arses back to Miss Wendy at the Rigby's pub on Tithebarn Street, Liverpool, England for a pint of real English pub ale!
MISS WENDY
RIGBY'S PUB – A PLACE THAT THIS WRITER HAS HAD MANY A
BEER AND HAS BEEN KNOWN TO 'STUMBLE OUT
OCCASIONALLY AND SOUND INCOHERENT
(THOUGH MANY HERE IN THIS 'US OF A' THINK
HE'S INCOHERENT AT THE BEST OF TIMES)
BEER AND HAS BEEN KNOWN TO 'STUMBLE OUT
OCCASIONALLY AND SOUND INCOHERENT
(THOUGH MANY HERE IN THIS 'US OF A' THINK
HE'S INCOHERENT AT THE BEST OF TIMES)
A PINT OF 'REAL' ALE
Now ……… if you think about it, the English ships of the day were driven across the Atlantic Ocean by wind ……..
Now ……… if you think about it, the English ships of the day were driven across the Atlantic Ocean by wind ……..
NO NO NO!!!!!! NOT THAT TYPE OF BLOODY WIND YOU PILLOCK!!!!! 'blowing' type wind!
ENGLISH SHIP OF THE DAY
So …………….. obviously the quickest way to get back to Blighty is to make the ships lighter!!!! So the fed up British sailors decided to chuck the tea overboard to make the ships lighter to get home to Rigby's in lime for 'last orders' …………. So that's what they did, chucked the bloody stuff overboard!
Fed up sailors chucking crates!
All was going great, the boxes of tea were getting chucked overboard, and the ship was visibly lighter ………..However ………….. there's always bloody one isn't there ………. always one that can't get the job done right!!!!! Able Seaman Lipton got his crate stuck on a rope!!!!!! and he was pulling it and dropping it like a nutter ………………….. but he did end up inventing the 'tea-bag' despite his misfortune!
SAILOR LIPTON INVENTING TEA BAG IN BOSTON HARBOUR
Yet, even though the history books may be a little cloudy the Independence Day celebrations did in fact give the world something HUGE!!!!!
The French gave us art ………….
A CRAPPY FRENCH PAINTING
So …………….. obviously the quickest way to get back to Blighty is to make the ships lighter!!!! So the fed up British sailors decided to chuck the tea overboard to make the ships lighter to get home to Rigby's in lime for 'last orders' …………. So that's what they did, chucked the bloody stuff overboard!
Fed up sailors chucking crates!
All was going great, the boxes of tea were getting chucked overboard, and the ship was visibly lighter ………..However ………….. there's always bloody one isn't there ………. always one that can't get the job done right!!!!! Able Seaman Lipton got his crate stuck on a rope!!!!!! and he was pulling it and dropping it like a nutter ………………….. but he did end up inventing the 'tea-bag' despite his misfortune!
SAILOR LIPTON INVENTING TEA BAG IN BOSTON HARBOUR
Yet, even though the history books may be a little cloudy the Independence Day celebrations did in fact give the world something HUGE!!!!!
The French gave us art ………….
A CRAPPY FRENCH PAINTING
The Italians gave us architecture and the sewer …………
A TYPICAL ITALIAN SEWER
And the British gave us the magnificent, let us not deny, FISH AND CHIPS! the dish that put the GREAT into Great Britain! Rule Britannia and all that good stuff! Plus of course Shakespeare.
MOST EXCELLENT FISH N CHIPS
SHAKESPEARE – NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH
MOST EXCELLENT FISH N CHIPS
These three nations brought art, architecture and sewers and great literature ……… Independence Day brought the world the one and the only
THE HOT (ahem) DOG! ………………..
SAY NO MORE ……………………………………………………….
So there good people are the actual facts about the Boston Tea Party ………………
So my fans, you adoring bunch of people who realise what a great literary genius said Signor Napoli is ……………. I bid thee farewell for now …………
MOST EXCELLENT FISH N CHIPS
These three nations brought art, architecture and sewers and great literature ……… Independence Day brought the world the one and the only
THE HOT (ahem) DOG! ………………..
SAY NO MORE ……………………………………………………….
So there good people are the actual facts about the Boston Tea Party ………………
So my fans, you adoring bunch of people who realise what a great literary genius said Signor Napoli is ……………. I bid thee farewell for now …………
Tony Naples
Closed captioning for The Novels of Tony Naples are brought to you by:
LARRY'S LIQUID NAIL
DARLENE'S FAKE DOGGY DOO'S
AND
THE DOCTOR PHIL SCHOOL FOR NEUROTIC MOOSE HERDERS
AND
THE DOCTOR PHIL SCHOOL FOR NEUROTIC MOOSE HERDERS
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